What You Should Know About Buyer’s Remorse Post Bariatric Surgery: Exploring Causes, Solutions, and How to Reclaim Confidence

Author: Eric Velazquez Category: Education

Bariatric surgery stands as a monumental decision for individuals grappling with obesity, offering transformative benefits such as enhanced health, increased mobility, and improved self-esteem. Yet, this life-altering journey isn’t immune to the complexities of buyer’s remorse—feelings of regret or anxiety that can linger even after careful consideration and counseling.

The Psychological Underpinnings of Buyer’s Remorse

1. Cognitive Dissonance:

Cognitive dissonance, a clash between beliefs and actions, often surfaces post-bariatric surgery. The chasm between expectations and reality can birth discomfort and remorse, as vividly illustrated by this quote from philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre: “We are our choices.”

Example: A person anticipating effortless weight loss post-surgery might grapple with pain, dietary restrictions, and slower-than-expected progress, sparking cognitive dissonance and triggering regret.

2. Unmet Expectations:

Buyer’s remorse frequently emerges when outcomes don’t align with expectations. Unrealistic hopes regarding rapid weight loss or profound physical changes can fuel post-surgery regret. In the words of Paulo Coelho, “Expectations are the root of all heartache.”

Example: Envisioning immediate weight loss, a person may face a slower journey or unforeseen challenges, amplifying feelings of remorse when expectations are unmet.

3. Fear of Making the Wrong Choice:

The fear of making the wrong decision intensifies buyer’s remorse, particularly with the irreversible nature of bariatric surgery. This echoes the sentiment of Albert Camus: “Life is the sum of all your choices.”

Example: Constantly questioning the choice of surgery or contemplating alternative paths can breed regret and anxiety about an irreversible decision.

Navigating Post-Surgery Emotions

If you are grappling with buyer’s remorse after bariatric surgery, remember, you are not alone. Many share similar post-procedure emotions, and acknowledging them is the first step to healing.

Common Reasons for Buyer’s Remorse:

  • Unrealistic expectations: Some expect a perfect life post-surgery, leading to disappointment.
  • Physical discomfort: Surgery-related pain and digestive issues can be distressing.
  • Psychological issues: Anxiety, depression, or body dysmorphia can complicate adjustment.
  • Social isolation: Changes in lifestyle and eating habits may lead to loneliness.

Overcoming Buyer’s Remorse:

  1. Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize doubts and regrets as normal after significant life changes.
  2. Seek support: Consult your surgeon or a mental health professional for guidance.
  3. Educate yourself: Understand the procedure, risks, benefits, and recovery expectations. Within the pages of my book, “Losing Weight, Gaining Life: A Complete Guide to Overcoming Obesity,” readers can delve into not only the concepts mentioned above but also an array of additional valuable insights.
  4. Set realistic expectations: Embrace the gradual nature of weight loss and anticipate fluctuations.
  5. Connect with others: Join support groups or engage with fellow bariatric surgery patients for advice and encouragement. For instance, participants in our Weight-Loss Program at the Longstreet Clinic Center for Weight Management enjoy exclusive membership in a private support group. Within this community, individuals at various stages of their weight-loss journeys—whether they are in the preoperative phase, recently postoperative, or have undergone surgery many months or years ago—come together. The wealth of insights derived from the diverse experiences within this group is truly invaluable.

Conclusion

Buyer’s remorse is a shared experience among those undergoing bariatric surgery. By acknowledging feelings, seeking support, educating oneself, setting realistic expectations, and connecting with others, individuals can pave the way for a fulfilling and successful weight loss journey. As C.S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

References

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  2. Magro, D. O., Geloneze, B., Delfini, R., Pareja, B. C., Callejas, F., & Pareja, J. C. (2008). Long-term weight regain after gastric bypass: a 5-year prospective study. Obesity surgery, 18(6), 648-651.
  3. Fabricatore, A. N., Crerand, C. E., Wadden, T. A., & Sarwer, D. B. (2006). How do mental health professionals evaluate candidates for bariatric surgery?. Survey results. Obesity surgery, 16(5), 567-573.
  4. Colles, S. L., Dixon, J. B., & O’Brien, P. E. (2008). Loss of control is central to psychological disturbance associated with weight regain following bariatric surgery. Obesity surgery, 18(5), 517-520.
  5. King, W. C., Hinerman, A. S., Courcoulas, A. P., Cassidy, O. L., Andreotti, G., & Flum, D. R. (2020). Preoperative Factors Associated With Patient Satisfaction and Decision Regret Following Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass. Obesity surgery, 30(3), 998-1007.